Sinking Further

Lessons unlearned,
oh bitter theme of our endeavours.

Our souls must be giggling infectiously,
watching you and I so foolishly bickering.
They can see that this physical realm holds no tangible path
that we might share,
hand in hand to heart to heat.


It's a hard road you have to travel,
old friend;
I do not know how you will fare.
This could have gone differently,
my inner voices of hope and reason gently remind me.

Too much chaos twists our minds from stillness.

oh supple teat of exaltation

I'm fuckin jazzed up like nobodies business

Heart chakra boogie foot is the flow of my feels as my smile simply grows.

Down the Chakras and Back Again

I haven't seen a thing

so much to come,
no ground to stand on

debris like this life that I've lead
falling rubble to the earth

in the scope of such mind-bending adventures
of the futures near and far,
one little entity could ever determine what this is.

The nature of this consciousness
confounds and diffuses my understanding.

I am weightless underneath this burden of total freedom.

I am dissolved and open.

Marital Dichotomy

You break me down,
yet I crave your build.
You hurt my everything,
yet I want for your healing touch.
You stifle my strengths,
yet in your arms I am happy to be vulnerable.
You destroy my self-worth,
yet your gaze builds me up.
You lie and manipulate until my intuition is useless,
yet my trust for you has somehow remained.

I cannot speak to others about you without cruel and unforgiving words,
but when our eyes meet my thoughts dwell only on affection.
I hate you with my mind,
though my soul is always in love.


From one extreme to the next,
when does your soul get a moment to relax?
Sorrow's hands grip your caramel neck
only until rage bursts out of every crevasse.
Choose your path with intention,
you fool.

:flip 180:

Transformation can be so aqueous,
and immediate.

One moment drenched in apathy,
another soaked in sweat and promise,
only to so vehemently dissolve
into two people with no love held between them.

And now,
to marvelously exemplefy my theory
that Zeus is hell-bent on fucking with my life,
the desire has returned.

Ambiguity is my cradle,
coherency my grave
and here i sit on top of it all,
looking down at the great rumblings of lands far away.

Rejection answers the wounded growl, 
revealing in its wake 
an assembly of expectations in every direction. 
Like a rip tide seducing me further from the shore, 
these experiences remind me 
that the flow of nature is immediate and righteously overwhelming. 

I am out here paddling, 
breathing like fire 
as the moment grip my spirit 
in its aqueous palms. 
Live or die are not the options right now; 
keep swimming, 
pumping force to stay afloat, 
no need to understand 
or define this task at hand. 
She is a bitter body, that ocean of my dreams; 
keep swimming, 
moving water with my feet. 


To be honest, it does sting a bit to speak her name, though it also reminds me that this little sting is all that is left of the stab in my side. Healing happened without any pretensions. Now, a tiny little pinch on the corners of my hearts might not be so bad; stay awake, good sir, don't forget what you have righteously abandoned.

I realized something yesterday, and it punched right through my inebriated fog like a tidal wave amidst the sea:
I have found true and sacred love. It unfortunately has so far been held in the wicked winds of ones so corruptible and full of malevolence, but the heartwarmth itself stretches far beyond the grasps of those that seek its distortion. I dont love these human women, or at least I haven't yet. I am connected, instead, to the sweet supple Greater Spirit; Gaia finds her outlets in the tongues and hearts of all of us. I  can most profoundly observe her web wrapped around the souls of those I share the most intimacy with, it seems.

I once put my hand to her chest and felt my raw, undistorted essence ripped like a sonic boom out into the ethers of existence. I see more clearly in this moment of reflection that this conduit I encountered was not one simply shared between two earth-bound vessels on the bed in my room; I believe something reached out to grab me, show me the stars up close, only to throw me back into the physical realm with the force of a thousand salty tears falling into an ocean of embers still glowing from fresh conquest.

Speechless; I reflect with shifty eyes on other such momentous experiences I've shared with the assorted characters that have clumsily drifted through the channels of my heart.
And I can tell that I am here
to keep swimming, always onwards.

Flap those weary wings, my love,
and embark further into this magical realm
towards the light of new potential
and the heat of new epiphanies.

Always Wanting, Never to Understand

I feel that connection:
i hear it, taste it, sense it in ways i may never understand.
it provokes me,
kinks me,
tells me riddles without answer
until i can feel the rising urge to flee,
to say its not there,
to deny this sacred bond
and stay safe down here
invulnerable and distant.
My ego craves completion
and yet...
I am not finished here,
not complete nor in a state of understanding,
so my silly little cravings will have to wait
until some higher level math
equips me with the tools i have yet to learn.

Mysteries of the Forwards Momentum

spiraling, teetering,
vanquished heart and eyes
falling upon such precious portals
before they're whisked away.

too too much is never enough
when the craving is for chaos;
it begins as a dance to conjure wholeness
only to dwindle into the other side
of a space kept in between.

aching, probing,
passion is pouring out
into a puddle
that collects beneath my bed at night.

Roots that bind my feet, Fire that licks my skin

There is an intruder in my mind;
her skin is so soft
as she tells me that its not enough.
Another monster set loose upon the world,
though this one is mine.
Every move I make is followed
by inevitable doubt and
always always always

Dissatisfaction like DMT
lifting us out of the atmospheric ego
into clouds that sink low behind the horizon.
Steeping my water into mud,
such bitter tea
that drinks me down.
Hate found its way inside.

When is time going to change?
I'm ready.

Sorcery to Quell the Bitter

I had just narrowly escaped the wrath of the Goddess of Libido
When these sun-scorched eyes beheld a vision of another entity just inside the scene.
A well traveled skin holding tightly to such raw sensuality;
perhaps too few hands had grasped greedily for what innocence laid below.
Our minds found a quick conduit into an intellectual dimension
Whose infinite potentials held great promise
As the words danced from our tongues into a glorious synthesis of new hopes and the quest for harmony.
I felt a flutter yet unknown within this head of mine:
New ground covered by the whimsical assumptions I could not refrain from constructing.
I saw pure white light coursing through our naked shining bodies as we danced in fields untouched by plow or mind.
Another chance at purity so quickly followed my rejection from harmony
That it almost breathed the name of the Great Fate
And I'm tingling, hoping that this delusion is no less real than any other.

Surfriction of Aptitude

A sudden surge of clarity, as though my brain just came online for the first time in ages. I feel the great potential within that I once held with so much faith. A lot has happened since my first rebirth to cloud my intellect and self-confidence. My intelligence is not lost, not yet; not by a long shot.
I now recall the inner-echo: I can rise to any occasion without faltering impotently.
Has it really been that long since I last felt capable of enduring any challenge I might face? Have the bitter poisons of love and loss truly exiled me from myself to this distance?
No neat ending to this one, folks, for I must clammor on and keep moving; ahead, forwards, onwards, up and out... Life will not dissect such ambiguities, nor will I in this case.

Brahman's Restoration

I am an eye
searching consistently for epiphany
yet concurrently,
I blindly have believed what appears to be.

My vision becomes a religion,
embellished by minds that are not like mine,
constructions that define the world that they find,
someone else's broken paradigm.

my senses ominously
shift my intuition to accept the slavery,
this constant subjugation by a corrupt society.

ah, and its so much easier to fade lazily
into a jaded state escaping entropy
building ignorant beliefs out of in-betweens,
and what might soon be.
Then again, those with choice only believe that they're free.
Hegel claims that consciousness is desire;
the craving, thirst enslaving quest for fire
that ignites the tongues of liars
to project this conspiracy.
As the social mind injects my self with conditioned needs
I lose my sacred dignity.

As a member of the greater flow
my contribution is what i know
I have a chance to shift the view
of who we are and what we do.
we can change the words that we pass down,
the hopes to hope, the dreams unfound;
together you and I can build
a higher consciousness that is fulfilled
by each of us that lasts until
an even-higher goal can test our will.

And it starts right. now. with us:

With the rejection of outmoded fallacies
through the election of a stronger mentality
spawning freedom from the malady
of a lost potentiality.

We can work towards the escape
from inequality, ignorance, and hate.

We were put here to save the next wave
of parents, learners, scholars and burners,
those who will compile their perspectives
from our actions as a collective.

This is a revolution of the mind
that reconnects us to our spines
in the hope that we might find
a balance in our hearts aligned.

Contradictions and other Non-Opposites

I'm swimming... I am the water.
I am confused
Down below the bubbles
(those toxic tensions rising towards the air above),
we all still float, sink, and hold our cherished breath beneath the skin.
She is a shark, a serpent's kiss, a rogue molten jet of aqueous lava
boiling the water until it bathes us little fish with fire.
I am underneath the surface
unable to swim
even for my life.

My Greatest Moment Yet:

Making love by the light of the full moon whilst juggling alligators in tiny rocket ships brought back from the future to liberate our minds with the healing power of advanced alien lazer-beam gumbo which often comes with an unfortunately small side of corn bread that was baked in the wood-fire oven of a particularly ornery ex-Tony Danza impersonator who evidently is unable to return the many messages i have left him since that first romantic evening that he held me to his remarkably tender and supple bosom until I felt like I was back in the womb again, though only for a moment.


Deep slumber
dreaming of the weight of waking

for that bittersweet feel
until my soul dissolves
like the veins of a junkie

love like a needle
words like the blackest tar
rushing towards my defenseless mind
at the speed of my heart's contractions

same destiny
different path
under my skin