To be honest, it does sting a bit to speak her name, though it also reminds me that this little sting is all that is left of the stab in my side. Healing happened without any pretensions. Now, a tiny little pinch on the corners of my hearts might not be so bad; stay awake, good sir, don't forget what you have righteously abandoned.
I realized something yesterday, and it punched right through my inebriated fog like a tidal wave amidst the sea:
I have found true and sacred love. It unfortunately has so far been held in the wicked winds of ones so corruptible and full of malevolence, but the heartwarmth itself stretches far beyond the grasps of those that seek its distortion. I dont love these human women, or at least I haven't yet. I am connected, instead, to the sweet supple Greater Spirit; Gaia finds her outlets in the tongues and hearts of all of us. I can most profoundly observe her web wrapped around the souls of those I share the most intimacy with, it seems.
I once put my hand to her chest and felt my raw, undistorted essence ripped like a sonic boom out into the ethers of existence. I see more clearly in this moment of reflection that this conduit I encountered was not one simply shared between two earth-bound vessels on the bed in my room; I believe something reached out to grab me, show me the stars up close, only to throw me back into the physical realm with the force of a thousand salty tears falling into an ocean of embers still glowing from fresh conquest.
Speechless; I reflect with shifty eyes on other such momentous experiences I've shared with the assorted characters that have clumsily drifted through the channels of my heart.
And I can tell that I am here
to keep swimming, always onwards.
Flap those weary wings, my love,
and embark further into this magical realm
towards the light of new potential
and the heat of new epiphanies.