these days

there's a tension that i'm coming to terms with;
a subtle underlying pressure
that I am past the point
of vibrancy.

How jaded can one get
before it's too late?

Another voice chimes in,
reminding me that change is inevitable
and that I would prosper from the embrace
of this current trajectory away from the naive thirsts of before.

Perhaps it is natural for me to reject the parameters of hedonism I once sought out,
to less recklessly seek for the warmth of this heart's cravings,
finding motivations guiding me away from inebriation
and closer to forming and achieving some distant dream.

Reminded that any life can go in wildly different directions without warning,
I am comforted by the fact that
I might still have a chance
to become new
if I am truly lucky,
to become whole.
I can't fix you or anyone else for that matter.
There is no way for me to intentionally change anyone else;
Even if I wanted to, I dont have the intellectual resources
or even a simple goal.

The only face is see in you is the one that is pouring out
into a puddle on my lap.