goooood fuckin luck

Antidote to
Never being enough for me
I will forgive her when I become equipped to
raspy glowing voice glides like sun-softened coconut oil from the quagmire of my fears
as I am pushed to accept that nothing will fill this hole for an indeterminable period
Fuck the mini bike
at 6am the whole world is alone
now the sky is peaking at the break of today
fucking garbage minded
phallus bashing
life smasher
you are the fire in which you burn
flesh melting off the bone
blackened husk
of a darkened soul
she returned from the island
pregnant with chaos
apparently logic is flammable

nothing could calm it
chilling sense of no return
our affections could not survive

i am grateful for the others
sex and attention can distract the pain
and get me far enough away

now there's a chance for healing
even when it gets lonely
better this than living a lie
She was already gone
in a soft pack of whys
like the glimmer of dawn
that lived deep in her eyes

Much better my heart
silenced facing the rest
than a quivering mind
and a long-spoken chest

She had always been gone
something fleeting and wrong

She had always been gone
to a fanciful place
to the eye, inner peace
spoken truth, inner hate

My body is old
with a definite wish
of a keep holding back
if a falling amiss