Inflammation of my attractions,
I am again perplexed by the level of rage that swells up within
At the mere thought of such paltry abandonment.
Overreacting, I know;
But my awareness of my offense does little to quell
This childish fury,
This ape armed swinging
That shakes me from my stride.


The Threesome that Never Was

Open city, winding roads;
a mattress on the floor with friends.
They giggle and speak
something that my ears cannot see.
My imagination kicks into gear
and will not be silenced.
Like a child on his way to ice cream,
there are plans and calculations,
a certain coming to terms with the fact
that these two individuals
seek to reclaim our primordial legacy
in the joining of our wombs.

And just like a dream that would belong to me,
chances are dashed, new plans chrystalized,
and out the door we go
as the mattress sinks out of view behind us.

Mermaids a'Plenty

She is as dangerous as Atlantis,
sunk by force and left to swim.
I can taste the bitter spray
of an ocean hungry for submission,
feel the quiver of failure
painted all across my face.
Once there had been the type of hope
that might have sparked great nations,
with these men and their dreams
of the type of luxury
that is only held inside.

I cannot grasp the land
beneath these boiling waves,
for this was lost
before we knew.
metaphorical oracle
blasting historical
powers rhetorical
conceptually adorable
whoring these oral chores
for more
its war
to keep away
what is chasing me
through epiphany

she sinks into my lap
and peeks into my void

Lean In

I am quickly realizing that there is no rulebook for a life like my own; no examples to follow, no martyrs to miss. I am changing all the time.

And always, beneath the thoughts and fumbles of basic daily comings and goings... beneath the rigor of sentient existence lies a pressure pushing me out of this worldly womb into the temperamental arms of spiritual transformation.
another one down the hatch

i was just windsurfing in a hurricane

when the clouds vanished

and the warmth was mine

beyond all premonition
awaits an open heart
that will sweep me away


I am a song

I am a breath between words,
an exclamation
only lasting for a few heavy moments.

I am what I've become


back into a corner

playing footsie with the antithesis of success

lopsided smile

all the way down

There's a kind of lightness to these days,

lost in addictions,

comfort in decay.

I am still a creature of habit,

underneath true compassion

lies nothing.

Clutching at straws

banged up knees

faded mind approaching something far away

Loaded up with (this) circuitry

a spinal alien feel

the call

this planet is screaming my name,
soil shifting in agony to impart some partial plot,
sinews clenching somewhere soft.

she is howling with partiality,
shivering and lost in some foul-mouthed tantrum,
shooting magma and heathens high into the air.

black goddess of this drooling earth,
whose high court is dressed in the tawdry silks
of a violence that slumbers in us all;

be not unkind in your beckoning,
for there is an unravelling that accompanies
this having of a mind.

these days

there's a tension that i'm coming to terms with;
a subtle underlying pressure
that I am past the point
of vibrancy.

How jaded can one get
before it's too late?

Another voice chimes in,
reminding me that change is inevitable
and that I would prosper from the embrace
of this current trajectory away from the naive thirsts of before.

Perhaps it is natural for me to reject the parameters of hedonism I once sought out,
to less recklessly seek for the warmth of this heart's cravings,
finding motivations guiding me away from inebriation
and closer to forming and achieving some distant dream.

Reminded that any life can go in wildly different directions without warning,
I am comforted by the fact that
I might still have a chance
to become new
if I am truly lucky,
to become whole.