metaphorical oracle
blasting historical
powers rhetorical
conceptually adorable
whoring these oral chores
for more
its war
to keep away
what is chasing me
through epiphany



she sinks into my lap
and peeks into my void

Lean In

I am quickly realizing that there is no rulebook for a life like my own; no examples to follow, no martyrs to miss. I am changing all the time.

And always, beneath the thoughts and fumbles of basic daily comings and goings... beneath the rigor of sentient existence lies a pressure pushing me out of this worldly womb into the temperamental arms of spiritual transformation.
another one down the hatch





i was just windsurfing in a hurricane

when the clouds vanished

and the warmth was mine




beyond all premonition
awaits an open heart
that will sweep me away

}}}

I am a song

I am a breath between words,
an exclamation
only lasting for a few heavy moments.

I am what I've become

Stifled

back into a corner

playing footsie with the antithesis of success

lopsided smile

all the way down





There's a kind of lightness to these days,

lost in addictions,

comfort in decay.

I am still a creature of habit,

underneath true compassion

lies nothing.





Clutching at straws

banged up knees

faded mind approaching something far away

Loaded up with (this) circuitry

a spinal alien feel

the call

this planet is screaming my name,
soil shifting in agony to impart some partial plot,
sinews clenching somewhere soft.

she is howling with partiality,
shivering and lost in some foul-mouthed tantrum,
shooting magma and heathens high into the air.

black goddess of this drooling earth,
whose high court is dressed in the tawdry silks
of a violence that slumbers in us all;

be not unkind in your beckoning,
for there is an unravelling that accompanies
this having of a mind.

these days

there's a tension that i'm coming to terms with;
a subtle underlying pressure
that I am past the point
of vibrancy.

How jaded can one get
before it's too late?

Another voice chimes in,
reminding me that change is inevitable
and that I would prosper from the embrace
of this current trajectory away from the naive thirsts of before.

Perhaps it is natural for me to reject the parameters of hedonism I once sought out,
to less recklessly seek for the warmth of this heart's cravings,
finding motivations guiding me away from inebriation
and closer to forming and achieving some distant dream.

Reminded that any life can go in wildly different directions without warning,
I am comforted by the fact that
I might still have a chance
to become new
and,
if I am truly lucky,
to become whole.
I can't fix you or anyone else for that matter.
There is no way for me to intentionally change anyone else;
Even if I wanted to, I dont have the intellectual resources
or even a simple goal.

The only face is see in you is the one that is pouring out
into a puddle on my lap.

No More Medication

These tired eyes are burning,
my lungs straining to gulp down air,
toxic blood pushed through my toxic heart.

I have been escaping since before I can remember,
too many years of conditioning my behavior
until I'm left with unbreakable habits.

I want to be alive again,
free thoughts and
better breath.

Oh my darling cannabis,
you dance around the altar of my hopes,
leaving no penance for the crimes of indifference that you've inspired.

To the sweet leaved tobacco plant,
I leave you my lungs, skin, and whatever else you'll take anyways;
Such foolish trust maintained for such a pitiful reward.

So many more actions without cause
and yet so full of repercussions,
leaving this husk cracked and without hope to recover.

middle

fettered ties to an ugly past

all of the air is sapped from the room as i am lost to the memories

i do not understand where i've come from or why

this identity cannot relate any longer